


Revelations of the Past

by twtd



Category: The Worst Witch (TV 2017)
Genre: F/F, Hi there Hecate's trauma, Post 3.07-3.10
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-07
Updated: 2019-03-07
Packaged: 2019-11-13 07:37:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,676
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18027518
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/twtd/pseuds/twtd
Summary: Hecate shows up at Pentangle's for her usual visit with Pippa but there's something wrong."Just give me a moment to finish these and then you can have all of my attention." She looks up briefly but not long enough to do more than take in Hecate's vague form. She finishes writing a sentence off handly saying, “Of course, you can always sit on my lap until I’ve finished working.” Pippa clearly means it as a jest as she smirks up at Hecate from the seat behind her desk finally giving her a bit more attention.Hecate stands there stiffly looking like she isn't sure what to do with the offer. Pippa expected her to brush it off entirely but then she sees the look in Hecate's eyes, something pained and uncertain. Hecate opens her mouth to respond but stops herself and wrings her hands together. Pippa doesn't know what to do with that. They've been together for nearly nine months now and it's still rare that Hecate displays any kind of weakness. Pippa immediately turns more serious. She senses somehow that whatever it is, Hecate doesn't want to talk about it, at least not yet.





	Revelations of the Past

**Author's Note:**

> This was supposed to be uncomplicated smut but it didn't turn out that way. It really, really didn't turn out that way. There is no smut here.
> 
> This is a response to everything we've learned about Hecate in season three up to episode 10. I'm sure by episode 11 it'll be completely Jossed but I don't care. It ignores the possibility that Hecate is confined to Cackle's.

Pippa looks up and smiles as the door to her office opens and Hecate lets herself in. She early for their weekly meeting and Pippa still has some paperwork to complete: recommendation letters for some of her more promising students that need to get written before the deadline in a few days. It's something she never minds doing and it leaves her in high spirits, getting to focus on something purely positive rather than figuring out class schedules, disciplining rowdy students, and inane correspondence with the Magic Council. She's glad to see Hecate but she can't afford to let Hecate derail her right now. 

"Just give me a moment to finish these and then you can have all of my attention." She looks up briefly but not long enough to do more than take in Hecate's silhouette. She finishes writing a sentence off handly saying, “Of course, you can always sit on my lap until I’ve finished working.” Pippa clearly means it as a jest as she smirks up at Hecate from the seat behind her desk, finally giving her a bit more attention.

Hecate stands there stiffly looking like she isn't sure what to do with the offer. Pippa expected her to brush it off entirely but then she sees the look in Hecate's eyes, something pained and uncertain. Hecate opens her mouth to respond but stops herself and wrings her hands together. Pippa doesn't know what to do with that. They've been together for nearly nine months now and it's still rare that Hecate displays any kind of weakness. Pippa immediately turns more serious. She senses somehow that whatever it is, Hecate doesn't want to talk about it, at least not yet. 

"Hecate," she says gently then clears her throat slightly and Hecate startles. "Do you--" she starts but when she sees Hecate tense she changes tacks. "Come here," she says letting a bit of her headmistress voice bleed out as she reaches for Hecate. She wants to get up and go to Hecate, to sit with her on the settee and hold her hand as Hecate tells her exactly why she's upset but that won't lead to anything other than Hecate stonewalling her and insisting that she's fine. Hecate looks lost so Pippa will give her some direction. She hopes she isn't overstepping any bounds by doing it. 

"I…" Whatever Hecate was going to say is lost but amazingly, Hecate does as she's told and takes Pippa's hand as soon as she's close enough to do so. With a light tug, Pippa pulls Hecate down onto her lap, still amazed that Hecate is letting her. Hecate sits there rigidly as if she doesn't know exactly what to do with herself now. It won't do and Pippa sighs in sympathy. She runs a hand down Hecate's spine then back up again, keeps doing it in a gentle rhythm. Hecate looks at Pippa owlishly as if she doesn't quite know how they got to this point. "I…" she starts again.

"Shhh." Pippa can tell that Hecate isn't ready to talk about it, whatever it is. She cups Hecate's jaw and draws her down into a light kiss. "You don't need to say anything." 

It's the right thing to say as Hecate nearly crumples into herself in apparent relief. She seems smaller somehow while she's like this and Pippa pulls her closer, wraps her arms around her more securely. Right now she wants to protect Hecate from whatever is haunting her but until she knows what that is, she's at a loss. Maybe if she keeps Hecate close it will be enough. Then Hecate does something wholly unexpected and relaxes completely. She tilts her head back against Pippa's chair and seems to settle in, wrapping an arm around Pippa's waist, not holding on too tightly but enough to feel secure in her perch. 

"You should finish your work," she says, her voice raspier than Pippa expected. 

"Are you sure?" Pippa has to ask. The letters can wait another day if they need to but Hecate nods and Pippa takes her at her word. 

The position is awkward. It's hard to see the paper from this angle. She moves slightly and Hecate just moves with her. Pippa does her best to focus on what she's doing. The pupils deserve her undivided attention and she gives it to them as best she can. She's so proud of them, proud of their accomplishments, that it's easy to express that in writing. Through it all, Hecate sits quietly, barely moving beyond the rise and fall of her chest. She offers no comments about Pippa's effusiveness though she can surely see Pippa's answers to the questions laid out before her. The lack of snark concerns Pippa almost as much as Hecate's posture. 

Finally, she comes to the end of the stack. She'll put them in envelopes tomorrow when her arms aren't so full. She sets her pen down and loops her arm around Hecate to hug her closer. With the movement, she suddenly feels wetness drop onto the exposed part of her shoulder and she realizes that Hecate is crying silently. Her breathing has gotten heavier though she isn't sniffling or anything like that, just letting the tears slip from her eyes. 

It scares Pippa. What could possibly have happened that would make the indomitable Hecate Hardbroom curl up in her lap and cry? At the same time, she feels honored that Hecate trusts her so much that she would allow this vulnerability in front of Pippa. 

"Shhh," she says again and starts rubbing Hecate's back once more. Something seems to break in Hecate then and she starts crying in earnest, chest heaving as she whimpers in Pippa's arms. Pippa simply keeps holding her, telling her that it's alright, that everything is going to be ok. She lets Hecate cry herself out until the tears dry up and the sobs stop. Pippa's legs have long gone numb but that isn't important right now. 

"Tell me?" Pippa murmurs, half question and half command. It makes Hecate jerk in Pippa's arms, coming back to herself. She blinks at Pippa as if she doesn't quite know what's going on or how she got there. Then she seems to pull herself together. She takes the handkerchief that Pippa offers her, wipes the tears from her eyes, and clears her throat but she hasn't moved from Pippa's lap. 

"I…," Hecate shakes her head. 

"You can tell me," Pippa says. "Whatever it is, I'm not going anywhere."

Hecate scrubs a hand across her face. "Tea?" she asks. "And perhaps a change in location?" She looks over to the settee. Pippa follows her gaze. 

"Whatever you want." She lets go of Hecate, lets her stand up. Hecate's a bit shaky as she finds her feet and Pippa keeps a hand on her lower back. Pippa has to sit for a minute as the feeling returns to her legs. She winces against the overwhelming tingling but it goes away quickly enough. By the time she looks up, Hecate is slumped back into the settee looking lost again. Pippa waves her hand and a tea service appears on the low table in front of it. Another wave and a trail of steam rises from the spout. It's chamomile. Pippa doesn't like it but she knows Hecate does, and she suspects that Hecate needs it's calming properties right then. She sits next to Hecate, close but not too close. She's surprised when Hecate curls into her side but she doesn't show it. 

"I love you." Hecate's voice is scratchy. Pippa suspects she says it because it is easier to say than whatever is actually on her mind. 

"I love you too," Pippa reassures Hecate as she wraps an arm around her and lets Hecate rest her head on her shoulder. They sit in silence. The tea finishes steeping and Pippa moves just enough to pour Hecate a cup. Hecate holds it between her palms as she stares into it. Finally, she takes a deep breath. 

"Indigo Moon is back," she announces, her voice stronger than before. 

Pippa stiffens as a wave of jealousy washes through her though she pushes it away as soon as it appears. She knows Hecate and Indigo were close in a different way than she and Hecate were, and she knows that when Indigo disappeared Hecate nearly turned into a different person overnight. It was when she lost her best friend, when Joy became Hecate. She doesn't know what Indigo's return means or why it's caused Hecate such emotional upheaval. "You'll have to give her my best," Pippa manages to say though she suspects she doesn't sound particularly sincere. 

"I don't know… She probably doesn't…" Hecate takes a deep breath. "She's still thirteen." 

Pippa rocks back in surprise and Hecate moves away from her shoulder. Pippa can't think of anything, any spell that would cause someone to simply stop aging and even if it existed it would be profoundly against the Witches' Code to ever use it. And who besides Peter Pan would choose to be thirteen forever? She feels ashamed of her jealousy now. "What…" Pippa swallows. "What happened?" 

"I turned her to stone." Hecate is staring straight ahead and Pippa can't see her eyes to tell what she's feeling. Still, she can't believe that Hecate would turn someone into a statue and leave her like that for thirty years. There has to be more to the story. 

"What happened?" she probes and hopes Hecate won't shut down.

"I…" Hecate shifts her gaze to her hands and the teacup still resting between them. She still hasn't taken a sip. "I gave her magic," she whispers, voice full of shame. "I used a wishing star and I gave an ordinary girl magic. It overwhelmed her and she turned to stone. I couldn't… There was nothing I could do. There was no spell to turn her back." Hecate is looking at the ground now. 

"But you said she was back?" Pippa can't connect the dots on her own. Clearly, something had changed recently but she can't fathom what it might be. Did Hecate finally find a spell to reverse the damage?

"Mildred Hubble." Hecate shakes her head. "I tried so hard… An ordinary girl with magic. The situation was so similar… I pushed her. I pushed Mildred so hard to learn the Code, to respect the Code, to control her magic. What was to say it wouldn't happen again? I'd have a sculpture garden full of children I couldn't protect." Hecate shakes her head.

Pippa reaches out for Hecate then, takes the tea from her lightly shaking hands and replaces it with her own hand. Hecate holds on.

"So Mildred found a counterspell?" Pippa asks. She always knew Mildred was remarkable. 

"Yes. But only after she had done the same thing to her mother. Given her magic with a wishing star, set into motion the very situation I feared the most." Hecate looks up then and meets Pippa's eyes. Pippa sees the residual fear there. 

"I told her not to bring Indigo back. It seemed cruel to return the girl to a world she no longer knows and… I will admit to selfishness on my part. I… I couldn't face my failure, my hubris." Hecate sounds bitter now. "But it happened anyway. Thanks to Mildred, the spell is broken, and now there is another ordinary girl running around Cackle's trying to do magic that she does not understand."

Pippa doesn't exactly understand Hecate's desire to leave Indigo a statue if she knew how to undo it but guilt can manifest in many ways so she gives Hecate the benefit of the doubt. She doesn't know how she would feel after carrying around that guilt for thirty years and knowing Hecate she has never told anyone what happened. 

"And how is Indigo doing?" Pippa can't help but wonder. 

"She is… adjusting but…" Hecate looks away again. "She wants her friend back. She wants to know what happened to Joy and I can't…" Hecate shakes her head. Her voice is stronger when she continues. "Mildred tried to impersonate me. Or at least she tried to impersonate Joy, to be for Indigo what I can't be now. It… it hurt to see what Mildred thought I would be like even though she was wrong. A husband and three children." Hecate sniffs in disdain and sounds more like herself than she has all night but then she sobers. "You must think me a horrid person now."

"I could never," Pippa says as she meets Hecate's eyes. "I can't blame you for what you did as a child. It was a mistake, yes, but one I suspect you've paid for tenfold. You were only thirteen and I know you've spent the last thirty years punishing yourself. We both know that you aren't Joy anymore, that you can't be. But perhaps you should tell Indigo anyway, if only to give both of you some kind of closure." Pippa suggests it as gently as she can knowing it's definitely a sore spot. 

"I…" Hecate looks down at their still joined hands. "I don't think I can. She has so many expectations and I would shatter all of them. After everything I've done, how can I do that to her? How can I expect her to understand?" 

"I don't know," Pippa responds gently. "But surely the truth is better than a lie. And what if she finds out anyway? Won't that only make it so much worse?" 

Hecate shakes her head. "I can't," and she sounds so bereft that Pippa can't bring herself to push it. 

"Alright. Just… promise me that you'll think about it?" Pippa squeezes Hecate's hand. 

Hecate exhales loudly and nods once. It's the best Pippa is going to get out of her that night. She guides Hecate back to her shoulder and Hecate goes without resistance. 

"I'm sorry all of this has happened to you." Pippa kisses the top of Hecate's head. "I'm sorry it's come back to haunt you now." 

"It's nothing more than I deserve," Hecate mumbles and Pippa sighs. If she is good at nothing else, Hecate is good at self-flagellation. Pippa hopes to change that one day and it helps to know the root of it now. 

"No, you don't deserve any of this." She kisses Hecate's head again and hugs her close. Remarkably, Hecate doesn't contradict her. Pippa looks at the clock on her wall. Between the time Hecate was on her lap, her crying jag, and their conversation, it's gotten quite late. She rubs her hand up Hecate's spine until she can cup the back of her head. "It's time for bed, I think," Pippa says. She moves slowly, deliberately until she is standing. 

"Come on." She tugs on Hecate's hand and Hecate does as she's told. They make their way silently to the bedroom. After letting go, Pippa goes to the wardrobe and pulls out her nightgown and the nightgown that Hecate has taken to leaving at Pippa's. It's nothing to use a bit of magic to change them both, Hecate too passive to do it for herself. 

Pippa folds down the duvet on Hecate's side of the bed. "Come get in bed." Hecate nods and climbs in. Pippa waits until she's settled before walking around the bed and joining Hecate. Normally, Hecate is the one who wraps herself around Pippa but Pippa suspects Hecate might need the comfort of being held. She carefully encourages Hecate into her arms and puts the lights out. 

"I still love you," Pippa says. "Just in case you were worried." And Pippa can tell by the way some of the tension leaves Hecate's body that Hecate was, indeed, worried about that. 

"I love you too," Hecate replies into the darkness. Pippa holds her a bit tighter and kisses her shoulder. 

"Go to sleep now." Pippa yawns and closes her eyes but she stays awake long enough to make sure Hecate has fallen asleep before she joins her in slumber.


End file.
